Ten-Days Project – Khonsu

Last week the House celebrated All the gods in dua.  We were asked by Reverend Sedjemes to choose a god (or a few) that we are not familiar with, but wish to know better, and spend the next ten days honoring and reaching out to Them.

My first god of choice is Khonsu.  I’ve felt odd ties to him since the beginning of my journey.  His name just kept popping out at me at random times, but when He didn’t appear in my line-up, I thought perhaps I was mistaken about His presence in my life.  Tonight though, I’ve done some light reading, and I think that I was definitely not wrong.

Khonsu is a god of the moon, often considered THE god of the moon – and the god that played Senet against Djehuty when he was trying to win time to for Nut to give birth to Her children.  It is also thought that He keeps tracks of those who will die during the year, and is feared because of it.

He takes a few different forms – as a young mummified man with a side-lock and a crescent moon headdress, as an adult man with a falcon head, and also sometimes as a baboon (when he was depicted in his role as Keeper of the Books of the End of the Year).

It comes to no surprise to me that He has been hovering in my mind – the falcon, both as a bird and as a symbol, has a special place in my heart and in my life in general.  Djehuty is one of my Beloveds, and Khonsu is closely associated with Him – to the extent that they both represent many of the same things.

To honor Him tonight, I will burn some candles and offer cool water.  Over the next few days I hope to find a few things that will be suitable to present to Him on a more formal level, and I will spend more time tomorrow trying to learn what I can about Him.   If anyone has any suggestions, stories, or knowledge to share,  I’d love to hear it.  🙂

Days Upon the Year, Day Three

Today marks the birth of the god Set (or Seth), the Lord of the Red Land.  I can’t say that I’m very close to Him, or that I even know much about Him – but He is and has been an important deity for a few people I care about, and I give thanks for His presence in their lives.

A huge storm rolled in about an hour ago, so I went outside for a bit and lit some dragon’s blood incense for Him, and let the rain roll over me for awhile.  Dua Set, God of Storms, and He of Strength! May you always keep us on our toes. 

Days Upon the Year, Day Two

Today is the day we celebrate the birth of Heru-wer, or Horus the Elder.   He is the Golden One Whose Body is Sky and Whose Eyes are Moon and Sun.  A little later in the evening I will be joining the House in prayer and heka to honor Heru-wer, and will offer him flame, incense, dark chocolate, and rum.

Hail to the Lord of the Sky!  May we always have your strength and wisdom at our backs.  Dua Heru-wer!

Monthly Goals and Other Things.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve poked my nose out around here.  I feel a bit ashamed of course, giving up so quickly (once again!) on the PBP, and in general not blogging like I’ve always intended to.  To be fair, a lot of things have happened between now and the last time I’ve posted, though in the end, I’ve just generally been lazy.

That’s not to say that I’ve stopped my Kemetic practices!  I speak to Netjer pretty much every day, I pray, and I generally make offerings of water, flame, and incense (candles in my case) every day as well.  I suppose what really happened here is that because so much of my practice is so routine, I didn’t feel it was necessary to really blog about any of it.

Then again, a blog is about more than reporting what you’re up to, yes?

So, for the month of May, I am dedicating myself to some more goals.  I have already posted about them on the HoN forums, but I will make mention of them here (perhaps a double posting will keep me honest!)  This month I will endeavor to make more use of my blog, I will make an effort to learn about and get close to a Name that is outside of my Family, I will perform Senut at minimum three times a week, and I will remember to make weekly offerings to my Akhu and write a few letters to them.

From my previous list of goals I still need to assemble an Akhu photobook (I have the book, but not copies of the appropriate photos), work on a personal prayerbook (once again I have the book, but haven’t done anything with it), work on completing my Akhu shrine, and spending more time learning about my Family so that I can update Their pages accordingly.

I have a lot to do.  Heh. And I’ve decided to pick up on some other projects as well…

I recently read about a project being done by a fellow Kemetic – you may know her as Emky, though she was also recently named Itenumuti.  She has spent over a year consistently recording prayers in a notebook for our community – a sort of original heka prayer process.  I think it’s an amazing idea, and am wanting to adopt the practice.  I have also signed up to join in on the Kemetic Round Table!  With any luck I shall also resume my PBP activities, though I will likely spend some time with the current letters instead of trying to catch up.  ^.^  I have some photos of my shrine space to share, and I will attempt to get those up before the end of the week once I have them uploaded and resized.  Looking forward to putting more energy back into this place.

Recap.

Over a month ago, I made myself a list of goals.  I meant to come back and see which ones I’d achieved in about four weeks time, but February has kind of come and gone and most of my time was spent with family and friends, and I never really got back here.  So I figure it’s time to take a look at that list of goals and see where I am now that a new month is upon me.

• Secure the necessary photos for the Akhu photo book I got for myself and create a drawing for the cover space.
• Find an appropriate plant/flower(s) for my Akhu shrine, and work on completing the altar.
• Double and triple remind myself of the 6 day Akhu ritual event in February.  I’ve been meaning to attend for months, and always manage to forget.  I even have the white candle necessary, and have had it for at least six months.
• Light candles and spend a few minutes in shrine to give thanks to Netjer and my Family before settling in for the night.
• Create a personal prayerbook for original prayers.  Write some original prayers! Also create a morning ritual for my Dad, and at least spend a few minutes at His altar when I wake up until I can come up with one.
• Stop being a shy feeb and attend one of the Saturday night fellowship chats on stickham.
• Commission artwork for my Beloveds, Djehuty and Serqet, that will be used as a backdrop on Their altar.
•  Attend at least one of the Senut support chats that are taking place this month.
• Spend some time reading about my Divine Family and actually work on updating Their pages on this site.
• Make an effort to be creative in Netjer’s honor, particularly in ways that I am unfamiliar with.  I’ve been feeling a push to create for Them, but I’ve yet to discover just what it is that I’m meant to do.
• Unearth the rest of my Kemetic books from my boxes so that I can actually work on getting through them.
• Either find the oils I already purchased (went missing during the move >.< )  or obtain new ones for offerings.  Replenish candle supplies.

Most of my list was pretty easy!  I’m actually still having trouble finding appropriate Akhu photos though – a lot of them have pictures of other people in them, and some I can’t find copies of at all.  It’s pretty frustrating, all in all, considering the sheer amount of photos we have in this house.

Attending the stickham chat was pretty easy, though at this point I’ve still only attended the one.  Saturday nights are usually one of my first nights of the week to relax, and I generally like to laze about and do nothing.  Socializing is actually something I consider kind of.. taxing.  Heh.

I have actually purchased a clean notebook for a prayerbrook for original prayers, but have yet to really sit down and try to write some.  I have been writing creatively a lot, and I consider it a constant offering to my Beloved, Djehuty.  It’s been incredibly fulfilling and quite the personal journey so far.  I started out kind of small, and am now considering rewriting a lot of my work and putting some new effort into a lot of old projects that I liked but never dedicated too much time to.   I’m quite excited.  It’s not necessarily what I had in mind when it came to being creative in Netjer’s honor, but it’s made me happy thusfar, and I think that’s the important part.

I’ve fallen behind with the Pagan Blog Project, but I’m trying not to stress about it so much.  I have posts in mind for my second C and first D submission, so perhaps I shall get to those before this week is out.  I do also have some photos to share, so I will try to get those up before too long.

Hope everyone out there is doing well!  Dua Netjer!

PBP: C is for Calling on the gods

C is for Calling on the gods. 

When you believe in a god, or gods, I think one of the basic ideas behind that belief is that you can ask for help.  That you can pray for things like guidance, patience, strength, or prosperity, and Someone will hear you.  It’s a comforting thought, that even if no one else in your life is paying attention, They will hear you.

I can’t say that I think that if I pray for prosperity and then go out and buy a lottery ticket, I’m going to end up winning a few million dollars.  I can’t even say that I think that if I pray every day for my mom’s physical health that she’ll make a miraculous recovery and be saved from her far too early decline in life.

Some people might wonder then, well, what good is asking for help if you’re not going to get it, or you don’t believe that you’re going to?

I suppose I just take something else away from praying.  I enjoy those moments that are just between myself and my gods, knowing that They are there and hearing my words and caring about me.  In a community sense, it makes my burdens less to know that others are listening to my request for prayers for those I love, or even for myself.  To know that again, someone is hearing my words, and it matters.

That’s not to say that I don’t believe in Divine Intervention.  I most certainly do.  Those moments when my mom surfaces from her pain and is well enough to spend the day with me, talking and laughing.  When I can take her out of the house, even if it’s just for a taco bell burrito, I know They’re there.  They may not grace me with a winning lottery ticket, but perhaps my monthly bills will decrease enough to allow me some extra spending money, or that thing I wanted so badly but couldn’t afford will come as a gift from someone I love.  It’s those small things that enrich my life, and make the day to day just a little bit easier.

I don’t call on the gods, or request prayers, expecting a miracle.   I just want to know that I’m heard, that I’m cared for, both by my gods, and by my friends and family.  Anything else is just a bonus.

Goals.

It’s been a little over a month since I’ve made my return to the HoN forums and to the weekly IRC events.  I feel better spiritually, every day, and manage to find purpose beyond my video games (which are fun, but ultimately just a hobby and shouldn’t be a lifestyle) and the caretaker sort of life that I live.  It’s a wonderful, happy thing for me.

Even so, there’s so much more that I need to do, that I need to work on.

When I first resurrected my shrine, I was on the cusp of my monthlies and unable to perform Senut.  In the time since then, I’ve found numerous reasons not to do so.  I needed new whites, I needed to make a fresh batch of pure natron (my old stuff somehow got wet and I didn’t feel safe using it), I needed to find a comfortable time of day to do it… the list was and is endless.  It’s now back to my monthlies and I am unable again, regardless of my reasons.

Enough is enough though.  No more making excuses, no more hiding because I’m worried that I’ll enter my shrine and hear No One.  I had the same fears when I was first getting ready to start trying Senut, and they were unfounded.  I need to remember the feeling I had back then and hold onto it.  Remember that as a Shemsu of Kemetic Orthodox, Senut is and should be a part of my routinely worship.

Other things I want to achieve in the next few weeks:

• Secure the necessary photos for the Akhu photo book I got for myself and create a drawing for the cover space.
• Find an appropriate plant/flower(s) for my Akhu shrine, and work on completing the altar.
• Double and triple remind myself of the 6 day Akhu ritual event in February.  I’ve been meaning to attend for months, and always manage to forget.  I even have the white candle necessary, and have had it for at least six months.
• Light candles and spend a few minutes in shrine to give thanks to Netjer and my Family before settling in for the night.
• Create a personal prayerbook for original prayers.  Write some original prayers! Also create a morning ritual for my Dad, and at least spend a few minutes at His altar when I wake up until I can come up with one.
• Stop being a shy feeb and attend one of the Saturday night fellowship chats on stickham.
• Commission artwork for my Beloveds, Djehuty and Serqet, that will be used as a backdrop on Their altar.
•  Attend at least one of the Senut support chats that are taking place this month.
• Spend some time reading about my Divine Family and actually work on updating Their pages on this site.
• Make an effort to be creative in Netjer’s honor, particularly in ways that I am unfamiliar with.  I’ve been feeling a push to create for Them, but I’ve yet to discover just what it is that I’m meant to do.
• Unearth the rest of my Kemetic books from my boxes so that I can actually work on getting through them.
• Either find the oils I already purchased (went missing during the move >.< )  or obtain new ones for offerings.  Replenish candle supplies.

A nice size list, but not impossible.  I think I’ll do a goal check in four weeks, which should allow me to have a chance to attend the 6th day Akhu ritual event.

Not always alone.

It’s been an interesting week, spiritually.  Last Wednesday was the monthly Pesdjentiu Dua (one of my favorites, and not just because Djehuty is associated with the moon) as well as Rekeh Wer (Great Festival).  Now, there are always two different times during the week that I can attend the weekly fellowship/Duas – Wednesday evenings, and Friday afternoons.  It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.  Typically I prefer to attend the Wednesday evening grouping because the kids are in bed, and I can have my full attention on the event.

Wednesdays also happen to be a social night of sorts in one of the video gaming worlds that I associate with, and for the past month I’ve been bowing out of it because I preferred to attend the House events.  Last week I told myself that I would join in on the gaming event, and simply wait until Friday to attend the Duas.  However, about an hour before the chat was set to start, I began to feel weird.  Anxious.  I was fidgeting and I kept checking the clock, and most definitely wasn’t performing to my best in my gaming session. At about three minutes before the Dua was set to begin I finally gave up on gaming and succumbed to the odd shoving sensation I was feeling.

I can’t help but wonder if Someone was being insistent that I attend.  I’m the first to say that at this point I don’t “hear” Netjer the same way that other people seem to, but often get random inspiration or feelings of agitation that come out of nowhere.  The second I entered the chat room, an immense feeling of relief washed over me, and I really enjoyed being with everyone and celebrating the Dua.  Interestingly enough, I had intended to attend the Friday session as well, but ended up being unexpectedly busy – another reason to believe that Someone was looking out for me.

I’ve been dreaming heavily lately.  I’m usually the sort to have nightmares and wake up distressed, but lately I’ve been sleeping deeply and comfortably.  I like to think it’s because my room has a better ambiance going on now with my shrine set up (though many recommend that you don’t keep your shrine in your room!) I’ve even been sleeping with my closet doors open, which is something I couldn’t do very well previously.

I recently dreamed that I was celebrating a Dua with people from the House, not online, but in person.  We were all in a large circle, and everyone seemed very happy, both loud and quiet at the same time.  The loudness I think was a feeling, as opposed to a sound.  Like we were all full of joy and happiness that was so large that it felt loud, if that makes sense.

Then suddenly it was quiet, completely.  And a strong voice called out Who will dance with Yinepu? We all stood around looking at each other, wondering who would step up and offer to dance with Him.  The funny thing is that I’m sure if this had really happened, many people would be clamoring at such a chance, but in my dream, we all just stood there waiting, as if we all knew it was meant to be someone specific.  After a few moments, someone stepped forward and I recognized her as being my friend Ekunyi from the House.  I will dance with Him she said in a calm, clear voice, and then He was there, holding a hand out to her.  They danced ballroom style, with all of us watching silently until I woke up to my alarm.

I don’t really know that it means anything, but I’ve never dreamed of Yinepu before, or for that matter, of Ekunyi, or anyone else from the House!  It was an interesting dream, to say the least.

I also had a dream over the weekend that I was performing heka that at this point, I didn’t/don’t recognize.  The dream was largely obscure, but I have a distinct memory of knowing that I was working from a Wiccan perspective.  This one is pretty easy to interpret because I recently had one of my “Someone’s guiding my hand” moments and randomly discovered a book at the library when I wasn’t even looking.  It’s called Inner Mysteries and is a (so far) pretty detailed book on Wicca and pagan practices in general.  I’m reading it now, still going through the histories of Wicca and the word “witch,” and am finding it utterly fascinating.  I’ve been giving some thought to adding some Wiccan flavor to my spiritual practices, and I don’t think that it’s any coincidence that this book found it’s way into my hands.